What’s Next?

What’s next? You aren’t moving back right? Are you staying in NY?

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me the questions above, I wouldn’t need a job.

I have wanted to move here since I was younger, and as I have gotten older I have cut back on the time I would want to live here. I love it don’t get me wrong but I dream of having a family and home one day and the city isn’t ideal for me. Though, I still hope to live here on my own in a few years.

However, right now the answer is I don’t know and it’s taken me a few months to realize that’s okay.  I had planned on staying but as time has gone by I have realized I am not ready to be in the city. Sure no one is ever 100% ready for anything but I do not feel even 1% ready.

I am about 3 months post college and I don’t know if I am alone on this but somedays I feel as if I have to be employed and making a really good salary already. However, at the same time I feel as if I look 12 and nowhere prepared. So I have been thinking a lot and even more now on what is next.

I am open to anything and hope for great opportunities to come my way but for now, I plan on leaving things in God’s hands. I am a firm believer if things don’t come easy, they aren’t meant to be and I have also been working hard on reminding myself God has a plan and it’s on his time and not mine. I love the saying, “God is going to give you more than what you have prayed for”.  So I am keeping an open mind and not rushing into anything just so I can say I am graduated and employed.

Recently a good friend of mine shared this verse, Psalm 23:1 “The lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing”. And it follows with, “Though you may feel emptiness and feel like something may be missing from your life, know that with the Lord forever by your side you are lacking nothing. You have had everything you’ve ever needed the entire time. So stop waiting for the missing piece and dwelling on what you may think you lack, and be the person the Lord has planned you to be”.

I have saved this as my screensaver and each day I read it throughout my day. I have come to peace with having no plan for when I go home other than allowing myself a break. For the past 4 years I have been in the routine of classes and working, even throughout summers. I never wanted to take a semester off because I wanted to get college over with. Now I am slightly jealous of my friends going back. I don’t want to grow up!! But, hey if you think about it school is all I have known for the past 17 years, Kinder-College. Going into just a working, adulating life is intimidating! I am grateful my internship has allowed me a slow transition because even that has been scary. I’ve learned so much more and feel a little more prepared than before. The city has also taught me a few little things, I miss Texas…

So for now I am going  to go home and just simply work any job  that comes my way so I can become a step closer to financially independent and stable because that is a huge reason for also not staying in New York. It is crazy expensive and I don’t want to work my booty off just to live here and not enjoy it. I know my time will come and I will be able to afford to comfortably live here.

I am also super excited to be closer to my family. My family is big reason for who I am and where I am. I wouldn’t be here without them. From supporting me financially, supporting me in general and loving me greatly, it’s helped me do what I love the most. New York will always be here, they will not.

Xoxo,

Stef