New Year, Ready, Set, Go!

It feels like January 74th, anyone else??

It’s funny, every year I feel as if by this point in the new year I’m like…”wow what a year. Hope this is the lowest point”.  Not sure why but Januarys are always super exhausting. Maybe because all the goals and resolutions I set and then immediately try to make the change to do all in the first month. I was super antsy to start the new year because for some reason all my goals and plans could not start until then? I have written and rewritten all the things I would like to achieve this year and realized that every year they’re about the same and some I’ve achieved over and over or some I have done halfway and others I’ve pretended I never listed…oops! Who’s counting?

This year I have a few of the same such as…

·       Workout more.

·       Save more money.

·       Spend more time with family.

·       Be more present.

BUT I have also added the following…

·       Say “No” more.

·       Cutting out negative energy.

·       No settling, higher expectations.

·       Being more selfish.

·       Living my life with no fear of judgment.

I’ve read the list above over and over to try and figure out what they mean and how will I achieve those goals. And I have now come to what I will do.
I need to accept I cannot do it all. No matter how social I am and how much I thrive when I am out and about. I drain myself out, rest is needed, and I need to prioritize it more. There will always be other chances to do it again. It’s okay to be alone and I need to learn how to truly be at peace with alone time from time to time.

I also no longer will go forward allowing negative energy and people who do not serve me and push me to be my best self get the best of me. Or let their opinions or actions take so much control over me. I will be more selective of who I allow in my life and who has control of my emotions. 

I will not accept any less respect or care than I deserve nor accept the love I think I deserve. But I also no longer want to fear love, I often accept love that I know. That love is usually temporary and not always kind, it’s selfish and one sided. I always think it’ll save me the heartbreak or make it hurt less. Not anymore, there is no more settling in my love life, social or professional life. The sky is the limit, and I will not stop even if I reach what feels like the very tip top!

I consider myself to be selfish at times but sometimes not enough. I love hard, I love so damn hard, and it always leaves me hurt. I want to be more selfish of the love I give and know that not everyone deserves it, that some must earn it. 

Lastly, I will no longer live life tip toeing around making sure I don’t do something that others will judge and talk about. I’ve held myself from posting something I liked or sharing something I believed in because I feared what others may think of me. Or think what if this changes their POV of me? Until last year I started to let go of it more and more. However, there were still moments where I allowed some opinions get to me or question if some content would bring on judgment. But now, I no longer give two cares what anyone has to say. My mom has said this to me in various occasions, “You don’t even let me tell you what to do or how to live your life and I’m your mom…so why would you allow anyone else to”? Which got me thinking, heck yeah I don’t I am unapologetically myself and I love the life I live and I love the things I do and enjoy. I am not changing for anyone, if someone doesn’t like it or agree; the unfollow options is there. I don’t need anyone to agree with my lifestyle or views by any means to be my friend. I accept everyone as they are and for who they are, why do I need to mold myself for anyone? New year, new me!

I know I can plan and hope all I want and the last few years have taught me to not have any expectations lol and that’s okay. I am excited to look back and look at all the highs and lows this year will bring. My favorite part of documenting my years with journaling and blog posts is reading back on them and thinking wow, I did that or I overcame that. Well, here’s to another damn year of figuring it out! Happy New Year, if you read this far…sending you positive vibes and wishing you the best year ever!

XOXO,

Stef